Being Vulnerable As A Leader

Light At The End of the Tunnel. 

Monday was one of the worst days. I felt like everything went dark. I had lost hope in the light at the end of the tunnel. I hadn’t seen it in a while. In Panama the love of my life told me that even when you don’t see the light we have to still walk towards the light God had shown us before. At the end of one of the worst days ever I was helping out a church with their youth Summer Camp. But I was led to go to a Monday night bible study I attend. I huffed and puffed and said, “I’m not going to say anything.” Well God laughed, because the Holy Spirit gave me a word on Being A Vulnerable Leader. It was a group of men and I knew that was something we all deal with. Before I started I told everyone that I was gonna be preaching to myself. That night brother Marcus told me that when you are close to your breakthrough “in the middle” that’s when the enemy puts something in front of the light. I felt like he put everything in front of the light and I was trying to fix it all and was getting no where. I left the group feeling even more drained after pouring out. I was drowning in a sea of darkness. I cried out to God, “All the love, All the preaching, All that I give to others, God, I need that.” I needed that Hope. 

Reaping Joy

Monday night brother Marcus also told me, “what you sow in tears, you will reap in joy.” Instantly I thought of Psalm 30:5. But I woke up and I didn’t feel the joy. Then my dad texted me , “I love you & this time I’m praying for you.” Those words meant so much to me. I called him and he bought me coffee & donuts. We had the most vulnerable talk ever. It was one of the best talks we’ve ever had. He texted me after, “I loved the talk.” Later I went to see Molly & she knew something was different. Obviously filled with the Spirit she encouraged me. Then I got a message. I thought “Oh No” It’s gonna get worse. Molly quickly told me me, “maybe it’s the breakthrough you’ve been needing & this won’t be a stresser, but a destresser.” The mother of my daughter wanted to meet. Because of Molly’s words. My mindset changed. I started praying. I got there just was vulnerable And we had the best conversation we’ve ever had. All the warfare broke. The fight over our daughter ceased.

I Hear You God!

I was getting the memo from God. So I went to the love of my life and tried to be as vulnerable as I can be. It was one of the best conversations we’ve ever had. So guess what I did the rest of the week. I tried to be as vulnerable with everybody in my life. Letting them know exactly where I was at. The light at the end of the tunnel shown bright as ever. It brought so much clarity. I realized somewhere I stopped being vulnerable. Because I thought no one would understand, but even if they don’t understand them seeing you vulnerable, does so much. It also makes you relatable and it can speak to situations in their life. So maybe this is just for me, but it sucks sometimes being a vulnerable leader, but it is necessary. God will hide you under His wings. Read Psalm 91. 

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